i’ll never delete my tumblr so when my kids are like “ugh MOM u don’t understand”, i’ll show them my tumblr so they can realize i was once young & laughed at dick jokes
my eldest sister had a boyfriend when she was in fifth grade, but we moved away so they obviously couldn’t see each other. well, when she was in college her friend introduced her to some guy and it was her old boyfriend from fifth grade. after two days of catching up she told him she wanted to marry him. they’ve been married for ten years and have two kids together.
dude sell that shit to disney
WESTBORO BAPTIST IS ACTIVE IN NORMAN TODAY, AND THEY ARE BY NO MEANS WELCOME. THEY ARE PLANNING TO PROTEST THE FUNERALS OF CHILDREN KILLED IN THE RECENT TORNADO. SHOW THEM WHAT AN ANGRY OKIE IS LIKE, Y’ALL!
REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG!
they can go fuck themselves
followers reblog this like hell okay
when you say a word too much and it stops sounding like a word
bowl is the worst
i wonder how many of us just sat here saying “bowl” until it sounded weird
all of us.
today my sister asked me for a glass of cold water and i sarcastically asked her “how cold” and she said “as frigid as your love life”
Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.
tumblr has given me the worst sense of humor ever i’m gonna be so screwed for school like if some student catches on fire i’ll probably burst into laughter